"Am I the incarnation of Bridget Jones?" A friend asked me a couple of days back. I immediately started laughing; -she's far from it, she's hot and extremely successful-, so I asked, "why on earth would you think you are?" "Well, I'm 33, I'm in my prime I mean look at me, sexier than ever, I kill myself in spinning classes, all to look like this; I'm successful, I speak four languages, but every guy that I like seems to run for the hills, so there has to be something wrong with me. I'm bloody Bridget Jones, and I'm going to die alone." She said.

I almost choked on my wine, listening to those words. She laughed with me for a sec, but went serious again; she truly believed something was wrong with her.

So, I asked her, "what do you think is wrong with you?"

"I don't know," she replied.

"Think," I insisted.

"How could I know?" She snapped.

"That's not an answer," I said.

"All l bloody know is that when I like a guy, he disappears on me!"

After hours and hours of psychoanalysis, we concluded she was doing one out of two mistakes. -Well, three-.

1. Maybe her expectations were skewed. Who she was in her 20's is not who she is in her 30's. Her dream guy back then is not her dream guy now, simply because she has changed so much herself. So the men she thinks she feels attracted to, are not compatible with her anymore.

2. Men could see she was driving with her wedding dress in the trunk of her car, and she came across as the type of woman who had names picked up for all her imaginary kids. With this I mean, she could come across as desperate. The truth is, most men do not want a commitment straight away, and that is a scientific fact. Think about this; Men could impregnate as many women as possible, more than 100 women a year if they wanted to. On the other hand, women can only get pregnant once every 9-12 months. We have different roles in the circle of life. As society evolved, and we aimed for monogamy, we have to sort of "convince" the guy we are incredible partners, and that's why he should be willing to cut he's "natural" freedom short. So if my friend seemed or behaved a bit desperate, and when men feel their freedom being threatened, yes they will run for the hills.

3. She just hasn't met the man she actually wants to share her life with. And being over 30 also has an impact on our decision making. At this age, we are far more discriminating than in our 20's, we know ourselves more, and we know our none-tolerable, which is a blessing and a curse. A blessing because its good to know yourself, of course, but a curse, because almost no one is good enough.

"So you have to chill", I told my friend. "Don't treat every single guy as a potential husband. And please, don't idealize him, just get to know him."

Remember the elder, the better. Women, when marrying at the age of 35 or over, only have about a 5% chance that to get divorced. Girls, be aware; this statistic only applies if you have a partner in the same age range. So, don't go for a 22-year-old stallion.

Xxo

Rebeka